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Showing posts with label mind control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind control. Show all posts

Saturday, 2 October 2021

Investigating Ignacio de Loyola and the Spiritual Exercises of the Jesuits.


What interests me is how a nobleman living in a castle in the North of Spain, became the progenitor of one of the most evil and dastardly groups ever created.

Rather banally I may have found the answer on Wikipedia.

I became intrigued by hearing that following a serious and painful battlefield injury, Loyola took refuge in a cave for several months where he conducted so called spiritual exercises.

Traditionally, in the ancient world, caves were a place where one could contact spirits and/or experience visions, like the oracles of old.

It seems he made contact with some kind of being. No doubt a demonic spirit. Possibly Lucifer himself.

Ignatius also began experiencing a series of visions in full daylight while in hospital. These repetitive visions appeared as "a form in the air near him and this form gave him much consolation because it was exceedingly beautiful ... it somehow seemed to have the shape of a serpent and had many things that shone like eyes, but were not eyes. He received much delight and consolation from gazing upon this object ... but when the object vanished he became disconsolate".

A beautiful being which resembled a serpent?

Pretty self explanatory who this guy was working for.




                                                        The journey into mystery.


The Kabbalah emerged from 12th Century Spain with some possible origins in the 1st and 2nd century. Something else to emerge from Spain, another arguably transformative movement was that of the Jesuits. The Jesuits almost certainly emerged from the Alumbrados of Castile who were said to have been mostly conversos, that is Jewish converts to Christianity.  Of the Alumbrados states:

“While they counted some of the high aristocracy among their number, most of the Illuminists seem to have been conversos.”

In the Alumbrados we find a development of the broad themes of the Kabbalah and the beliefs of the Alumbrados are a good snapshot of the kind of spirit of sensuality and sexual license which would later entwine itself into Freemasonry and the various Hellfire clubs and the Bavarian Illuminati which all seemed to present themselves on the scene within a close time-frame and as we have seen, many of the members were intricately connected to each society.

The Alumbrados believed that it was possible to reach a state of union with God whereby one could freely indulge in sinful acts and express sexual desires freely. They too believed in a kind of direct revelation of God, whereby they could actually obtain direct communication with him. This is enough to give pause and make one question just what it was that these people thought they were actually contacting. What voices and delusions overthrew them and led them to believe it was God itself they were trafficking with? We cannot know how exactly the Alumbrados pursued this path to ‘contact’ but we can examine the work of Ignacio de Loyola for a clue since the Jesuits were the inheritors of this subversive heretical tradition which managed to find a home within the Catholic church and Loyola was even summoned to stand before an ecclesiastic commission while he was studying in Salamanca in 1527 on a charge of being in league with the Alumbrados.

Once when Inigo was preaching on the street, three women who had been investigated by the Inquisition for being members of the Alumbrados started experiencing suspicious ecstatic states:

"One fell senseless, another sometimes rolled about on the ground, another had been seen in the grip of convulsions or shuddering and sweating in anguish." Inigo himself had been imprisoned on being suspected of being Alumbrado but was eventually released without charge.

It is suspicious since such activity has historically been considered to be a sign of demonic possession. That fact that Inigo was able to elicit a kind of resonant demonic possession in these three Alumbrado women indicates that he himself was probably operating under the impulse and control of the demonic realm.

The book The Jesuit Order as a Synagogue of Jews by Robert Aleksander Maryks goes into extensive detail exploring the particular ethno-religious conflicts of the period during the early years of the Jesuits and the ongoing attempts of various groups to wrest control of the direction of the order. It seemed largely to be a contest between Jews who had apparently converted to Christianity and non-Jewish Christians. It is revealed that most of the original directors of the organisation were Jews, although there are rumours and suspicions that Loyola himself was a Converso this is not made explicit in the book.

It is worth noting that Philip II of Spain observed that “all the heresies in Germany, France, and Spain have been sown by descendants of Jews” and the Inquisition was formed precisely to root out the heretical corruptions of ‘converso’ Jews, or Jews who now professed to be Christian but who may secretly still have practised their former faith and who may indeed have a particular interest in attacking Christianity from within. 

Born in Azeiptia in the Kingdom of Castille, which in 15th Century Spain was the centre of Alumbrado activity, there can be no doubt that Loyola would have been familiar with Kabbalistic treatments and was an associate of the Alumbrados.

Ignacio de Loyola was born Inigo Lopez, Lopez, although a Spanish surname meaning ‘son of the wolf’ is also considered a Sephardic Jewish surname.  It is thought that Inigo Lopez changed his name to Ignacio de Loyola to allay any suspicions about possible Marrano origins and place him within the context of indigenous Spanish nobility. As a young man he became a servant of the Spanish nobleman Juan Velázquez de Cuéllar, who was treasurer to the Spanish King, King Ferdinand. He was said to have had a carousing and dissolute life of a knight until he suffered a bad leg wound fighting the French in the battle of Pamplona. The sudden reversal in his fortunes, the terrible pain of his shattered leg and the ongoing torture as the doctors continuously tried to set and reset it must have inspired some of the dark rhetoric which informs his Spiritual Exercises which is the mental conditioning manual for the infamous Jesuit Order.

The Spiritual Exercises form the key element of preparing the mind for acceptance into the Jesuit mental framework though I would say that the key aim is the auto-induction into psychosis through  deliberate and continual contemplation on evil; in the words of Loyola: “to see with the sight of the imagination”. The fifth exercise for example, is a mediation on Hell. The novitiate is required by stages, or degrees you might say, to visualise Hell, to place himself there with his mind.

“The first Point will be to see with the sight of the imagination the great fires, and the souls as in bodies of fire. Second Point. The second, to hear with the ears wailings, howlings, cries, blasphemies against Christ our Lord and against all His Saints.”

In general the system of the Jesuits is as I have stated, seems to be a fast track to auto-initiated psychosis. As we have heard the Rosicrucians have a psychic initiatory framework whereby degrees and information is revealed psychically to particular favoured people. It is my contention that the Jesuit system is the same and it does this by establishing contact with some kind of ‘astral agency’ which can only approach the human psyche once it is sufficiently weakened and unable to resist. Of course the Jesuits think this is God, since their system tells them that it is, and that they are suitably humbling themselves and wallowing in their sins, in order to apparently make them fully repentant enough to be worthy of God’s favour. Repeatedly the Jesuit Spiritual Exercise make plain their aim to invoke confusion and shame in the novitiate.

“The first Point will be to bring the memory on the First Sin, which was that of the Angels, and then to bring the intellect on the same, discussing it; then the will, wanting to recall and understand all this in order to make me more ashamed and confound me more, bringing into comparison with the one sin of the Angels my so many sins, and reflecting, while they for one sin were cast into Hell, how often I have deserved it for so many…”

“it will be to ask shame and confusion at myself, seeing how many have been damned for only one mortal sin, and how many times I deserved to be condemned forever for my so many sins.”

Thus he is specifically instructed to pray for pain, torment, shame and confusion and to see himself in the lowest terms:

“to see all my bodily corruption and foulness; to look at myself as a sore and ulcer, from which have sprung so many sins and so many iniquities and so very vile poison.”

It goes without saying that the most obvious fallacy here is that he is appealing to God, the presumed creator of humanity and all life on  Earth, either directly or indirectly, while presenting himself as an example of God’s creation in the lowest and foulest possible terms. Such self-abasement has nothing appealing in spiritual terms and if anything might only possibly appeal to a being who has a great hatred of humanity, such a well-known adversary we do not need to name here for fear of labouring a point.

Additionally these ‘prayers’ or ‘invocations’ or whatever one might call them, are often under instruction to take place just after midnight or in total darkness:

“ deprive myself of all light, closing the blinds and doors while I am in the room, if it be not to recite prayers, to read and eat.”

“at midnight, bringing myself to confusion for my so many sins, setting examples, as, for instance, if a knight found himself before his king and all his court, ashamed and confused at having much offended him, from whom he had first received many gifts and many favors: in the same way, in the second Exercise, making myself a great sinner and in chains; that is to say going to appear bound as in chains before the Supreme Eternal Judge; taking for an example how prisoners in chains and already deserving death, appear before their temporal judge.”

Again it is evident to most according to millennia of religious and metaphysical literature that God and the angels are usually associated with light while other types of beings and unwholesome spirits are generally, in the folklore, said to be most active and abroad at night and in conditions of darkness.

The gist of the Spiritual Exercises seems to be instead of drawing closer to God and achieving a more positive relationship with the divine creative principle, the contrary seems to be the logical outcome. The repeated invocation of shame, of ones loathsome sinful nature and finally the:

“…understanding how in sinning and acting against the Infinite Goodness, he has been justly condemned forever.”

In fact the Spiritual Exercises specifically deny contemplation on the positive aspects of the Christian message and of Jesus’ ministry, but instead to continually ruminate on death and judgement exclusively:

“Not to want to think on things of pleasure or joy, such as heavenly glory, the Resurrection, etc. Because whatever consideration of joy and gladness hinders our feeling pain and grief and shedding tears for our sins: but to keep before me that I want to grieve and feel pain, bringing to memory rather Death and Judgment.”

Nor indeed to think of the Good News Jesus brought, of our salvation through his sacrifice/murder by the proto-Rabbinical authorities following their own traditions alien to Torah Judaism but instead:

“force myself to grieve, be sad and weep.”
Furthermore Jesuits are taught:

“Not to laugh nor say a thing provocative of laughter…(and) restrain my sight, except in receiving or dismissing the person with whom I have spoken.”

This leads to the creation of a peculiarly unappealing personality. One who does not laugh or enjoy humour and is not interested in encouraging humour of laughter in others, not only that but a man who will only make eye contact twice, upon receiving and dismissing someone. Such rules are designed to further alienate such a person from his fellows and the simple human pleasures of human fellowship. This could only be forbidden by someone wanting to make someone estranged from goodness and languishing only as we have seen, in pain and torment. C.S.Lewis reminds us that God wants only the best for us and certainly would not have created the majesty and wonder of the world in order for us to be self-flagellating slaves crippling ourselves and renouncing even the good things about the human experience.

The Jesuits are even encouraged not to take any simple pleasure in the eating food:

“Another time, while he is eating, he can take another consideration, either on the life of Saints, or on some pious Contemplation, or on some spiritual affair which he has to do, because, being intent on such thing, he will take less delight and feeling in the corporal food.”

Focusing on the bad and renouncing the good can only have the effect of making a man become what he focusses on: evil. And this I have no doubt was the devious aim of the Jesuit organisation: the inculcation of a militant band of priests languishing in evil, cutting themselves off from humanity, goodness and becoming brooding beings of pestilence, death and sin. Nothing good can come from such auto-suggestion because as Proverbs remind us:

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

Not only were the Jesuits told to take no pleasure from life and “ to leave off the superfluous of delicate or soft things” but indeed to actually provoke pain and damage to their own bodies:

“to chastise the flesh, that is, giving it sensible pain, which is given by wearing haircloth or cords or iron chains next to the flesh, by scourging or wounding oneself, and by other kinds of austerity.”

Loyola also praises fear, servile fear no less, as a way, if not the best way, to serve God, but this directly contradicts Biblical teaching which tells us:

“God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). 

“Although serving God our Lord much out of pure love is to be esteemed above all; we ought to praise much the fear of His Divine Majesty, because not only filial fear is a thing pious and most holy, but even servile fear -- when the man reaches nothing else better or more useful -- helps much to get out of mortal sin. And when he is out, he easily comes to filial fear, which is all acceptable and grateful to God our Lord: as being at one with the Divine Love.”

This focusing on fear, doom, terror and all such negative qualities seems to be the key focus of the Jesuit system and it is ironic that we find a similar mental framework being evoked in the 1st degree initiation into the arch-enemy of the Catholic church, the Royal Black Lodge, a high level of the protestant Orange Order of Northern Ireland said to have taken its rites and history from the Knights Templar. The following extract is from

“In this interview the Black Grand Registrar reveals much about the actual nature of the Royal Black and its very reason for existence. In essence, he admits that it is a secret Order that is immersed in the accoutrements of death. He admits that it is a society that is in a continual state of mourning. Take away the mourning and the Black loses its identity. It is an Order that proudly parades the symbols of death as an outward representation of its inward beliefs and spiritual psyche. 

The skull and cross-bones is not merely a Black emblem but is an important exhibit used in its ritual initiations and in certain secret formal gatherings to lay stress upon, or represent secret esoteric teaching. In probably one of the most shocking practices existing within the Loyal Orders, the candidate entering the first degree of the Black – the Royal Black degree – is met with a display of human remains. There, before him, sits an actual human skull and bones amidst a gathering of sober Black brethren. As the entrant views the human skull he is solemnly instructed on the teaching of the Black on death, the resurrection and eternity.”

Interestingly the same website gives details of the sequence of events in the initiation and we find the interesting detail:

“Something on a table under a white cloth being uncovered, was perceived to be a human skull, which the witness was desired to take up, and view it, and was told it was a real skull of a brother called Simon Magus. Porter was poured into the skull, which the witness was desired to drink; he did so, and it was handed round the whole Knights.”

So here we have a recipe for the auto-induction of psychosis, schizophrenia and demonic possession, and it is clear at times that Loyola himself is in a state of deep spiritual confusion and trapped at times in just the kind of manic-uncertainty can lead to the development of chronic conditions of psychosis, in fact the following example might lead the disinterested reader, if he or she has any knowledge of the kind of manias and inescapable double-binds that many suffering from severe mental illness suffer from, the following one assumes that Loyola must have stepped on the cracks in the pavement, visualising them as a Christian cross:

“After I have stepped on that cross, or after I have thought or said or done some other thing, there comes to me a thought from without that I have sinned, and on the other hand it appears to me that I have not sinned; still I feel disturbance in this; that is to say, in as much as I doubt and in as much as I do not doubt. That is a real scruple and temptation which the enemy sets.”

The thirteenth rule of Loyola’s Jesuits as outlined in his Spiritual Exercise is as follows and must surely be the most damning especially if we consider that Jesus said of himself: “I am the way, the truth and the life.” For the Jesuits, the ‘truth’ is whatever the institution of the Roman Church says it is:

“Thirteenth Rule. To be right in everything, we ought always to hold that the white which I see, is black, if the Hierarchical Church so decides it..” 

Strangely, Loyola seemed to have an inkling of what he was doing and perhaps he was in some doubts as to whether his Spiritual Exercises were not in fact demonically inspired and that reading the following extracts and then comparing it to the broader work in general we may see that he had unwittingly given the key and explanation to the creation of not only his own work, but the Jesuit order and their operations in the world to this present day:

“The enemy looks much if a soul is gross or delicate, and if it is delicate, he tries to make it more delicate in the extreme, to disturb and embarrass it more. For instance, if he sees that a soul does not consent to either mortal sin or venial or any appearance of deliberate sin, then the enemy, when he cannot make it fall into a thing that appears sin, aims at making it make out sin where there is not sin, as in a word or very small thought.”


Ignatio Loyola dedicated himself to the Black Virgin of Montserat.......

This ties in with my article about the Black Grail: 


 I gather that the whole thing about the Jesuits is that they contact spirits and that Ignatio de Loyola's so called spiritual exercised were techniques to be used in order to perceive and communicate with spirits.

This seems to be the key to Loyola's experience and revelation. That discarnate spirits acted on the human mind and were responsible for feelings of sadness, happiness and also effected his or her actions.

Loyola seemed to contact these spirits, either in hospital or in his cave. Suffice it to say, that possibly Loyola was not a bad man but possibly this knowledge of spirit contact became misused.



First Rule. The first: It is proper to God and to His Angels in their movements to give true spiritual gladness and joy, taking away all sadness and disturbance which the enemy brings on. Of this latter it is proper to fight against the spiritual gladness and consolation, bringing apparent reasons, subtleties and continual fallacies.
Second Rule. The second: It belongs to God our Lord to give consolation to the soul without preceding cause, for it is the property of the Creator to enter, go out and cause movements in the soul, bringing it all into love of His Divine Majesty. I say without cause: without any previous sense or knowledge of any object through which such consolation would come, through one's acts of understanding and will.

Third Rule. The third: With cause, as well the good Angel as the bad can console the soul, for contrary ends: the good Angel for the profit of the soul, that it may grow and rise from good to better, and the evil Angel, for the contrary, and later on to draw it to his damnable intention and wickedness.

Fourth Rule. The fourth: It is proper to the evil Angel, who forms himself under the appearance of an angel of light, to enter with the devout soul and go out with himself: that is to say, to bring good and holy thoughts, conformable to such just soul, and then little by little he aims at coming out drawing the soul to his covert deceits and perverse intentions.

Fifth Rule. The fifth: We ought to note well the course of the thoughts, and if the beginning, middle and end is all good, inclined to all good, it is a sign of the good Angel; but if in the course of the thoughts which he brings it ends in something bad, of a distracting tendency, or less good than what the soul had previously proposed to do, or if it weakens it or disquiets or disturbs the soul, taking away its peace, tranquillity and quiet, which it had before, it is a clear sign that it proceeds from the evil spirit, enemy of our profit and eternal salvation.

Sixth Rule. The sixth: When the enemy of human nature has been perceived and known by his serpent's tail and the bad end to which he leads on, it helps the person who was tempted by him, to look immediately at the course of the good thoughts which he brought him at their beginning, and how little by little he aimed at making him descend from the spiritual sweetness and joy in which he was, so far as to bring him to his depraved intention; in order that with this experience, known and noted, the person may be able to guard for the future against his usual deceits.

Seventh Rule. The seventh: In those who go on from good to better, the good Angel touches such soul sweetly, lightly and gently, like a drop of water which enters into a sponge; and the evil touches it sharply and with noise and disquiet, as when the drop of water falls on the stone.

And the above-said spirits touch in a contrary way those who go on from bad to worse.

The reason of this is that the disposition of the soul is contrary or like to the said Angels. Because, when it is contrary, they enter perceptibly with clatter and noise; and when it is like, they enter with silence as into their own home, through the open door.

Eighth Rule. The eighth: When the consolation is without cause, although there be no deceit in it, as being of God our Lord alone, as was said; still the spiritual person to whom God gives such consolation, ought, with much vigilance and attention, to look at and distinguish the time itself of such actual consolation from the following, in which the soul remains warm and favored with the favor and remnants of the consolation past; for often in this second time, through one's own course of habits and the consequences of the concepts and judgments, or through the good spirit or through the bad, he forms various resolutions and opinions which are not given immediately by God our Lord, and therefore they have need to be very well examined before entire credit is given them, or they are put into effect.



Friday, 17 February 2017

Information from an alleged former Illuminati Insider at Uni High School Illinois.


Please find here information from what is claimed to be an Illuminati insider. This correspondence was sent to me and also posted over on my forum. This gentleman was attending what he called an Illuminati high school at the time of writing and his experiences relate to this specific environment. He appears to be talking about his experiences at University Laboratory High School Illinois.

I personally cannot vouch for the accuracy of this information and as the writer himself suspects, some of this is likely deliberately intended to mislead the Illuminati member, after all, you can’t mind control people with the truth. 

You as the reader must decide for yourself whether you think the following story is true, I merely print it here as a curiosity and something to consider. 

However there are parts of his story which shed a light on some of the mysteries of the Illuminati such as his reference to sexual activity as a way for members to fend off the development of schizophrenia. I can also confirm the use of trance audio techniques as this is what I experienced in France on a government residential training course which was a cover to join the French Illuminati.

Several sources have repeated that the Illuminati is limited to 6,000 members worldwide. This could be true but personally I do not believe it since I have met so many members of the Illuminati on my worldwide travels that statistically this would not have been possible if there were only 6,000 members, and also in my opinion a group having only 6,000 members would unlikely to be able to exert the power over the world which they current have. 

The actual number of Illuminati members is, in my opinion far far higher, reaching into the millions, since I would classify anyone having psychic connection to the Luciferian hive-mind as ‘Illuminati’ which I think is a far more useful definition since these are the most powerful agents of Lucifer in this world at the present time.

On a side note, I typed in 'Illuminati High school' to see if I could find anything to corroborate his story and found this link to the Unicef (United Nations children's charity organisation) website.
We aim to educate, advocate and fundraise on behalf of the world's children at Illuminati High School.

Here is the correspondence: 

There's a lot I could reveal, because I've been associated with the Illuminati.

Perhaps I shall start with what the Illuminati told me were the 3 words you should never say.

The Really Bad Words (according to the Illuminati):
1) Theocrat or the Theocrats
2) Pythagoras or Pythagoras Lucifer (the name of the Head of the Illuminati)
3) Illuminati (sort of the obvious word you're never supposed to say if you're in the Illuminati)

I must admit that I'm totally confused about the nature of reality. But---I do know for certain that the mainstream story of how reality works is utterly false and not merely false in good faith out of ignorance, but deliberately false due to manipulation by spiritual powers. So---please take everything I write with a grain of salt (with skepticism); and also note that the Illuminati tell all sorts of contradictory tales to their own members---so I may have been tricked by them. With that's my rough view of reality (or at least one version of history).

Around 2500 years ago, there was a Greek man named Pythagoras Lucifer (who is known to history only as Pythagoras), was exceptionally intelligent---reportedly with an IQ over 300, making him possibly the most intelligent man who ever lived. He went to Egypt and learned from the Egyptian priesthood about the nature of the spiritual realm. And he acquired wealth and he went around recruiting the finest minds of the ancient world, which became the Pythagorean Order, which would evolve into the Illuminati.

According to very weird people I've met (who claimed to be angels), the Illuminati were originally a very noble organization of genuine do-gooders. But somewhere along the way the Illuminati became Satanic. I will have much to say about Satanism---it's not what most people think, it's not just evil, it's monopolizing power---it's about full-spectrum power, monopolizing both the power of good and the power of evil.

Who are these "Theocrats" that are a bad word to say? My understanding is this: that in the spirit realm there are numerous exploitative wicked spirits who use religious imagery to trick and capture human souls in the afterlife. So, effectively, all religions on Earth are de facto evil---because the images of religious leaders, whether Jesus or Buddha or angels, are projected by evil spirits in order to gain power over humans in the afterlife. I was told that simply using the word "Theocrat" tends to attract the attention of evil spirits. So---perhaps this might be a word to use with caution.

Anyway, based on what I was told, Earth is in nearly the worst possible situation. And the majority of human souls are captured in the afterlife and end up having extremely unpleasant experiences---AKA Hell.

The Illuminati view themselves as the good guys, the heroes, who are trying to save the world from an evil organization that does rule the world---called variously the Archons or the Overlords. And the Archons are known by the number 333. Whereas the Illuminati are known by the number 666. Anyway, the Illuminati say that they have a "peace treaty" with the Archons, which limits the size of each organization to 6000 members.

But---here's the huge problem that I may be unique in discovering----the Illuminati seem to work hand-in-hand with their so-called enemies. One of the secret Illuminati dogmas (which I'm not sure that most Illuminati members consciously know about) is that God is Satan and Satan is God; and Good is Evil and Evil is Good----this is quite literally what I was taught. So---it seems to me that the world is ruled by a two-winged organization, which I call the Illuminati-Archons, where one side is directly evil (the 333 side) and the other side pretends to be good (the 666 side). And so we are trapped in perpetual duality---the essence of Satanism, forever war, forever suffering.

Perhaps I should add that---there are true angels (I would call members of the Illuminati as false angels or false-enlightened souls), and true angels are working to overthrow both the Illuminati and the Archons. And, all of this seems to be coming to a head rather soon---which is partially the reason you're reading this information now.

On Bloodlines and Reincarnation
On the bloodlines subject---I've wondered about the concept of bloodlines. While in the actual Illuminati (albeit quite briefly and without the standard training), I never heard the word "bloodline" or the idea of ancestry being of any importance.

Here's my skeptical thought: I've doubted the whole existence of Illuminati bloodlines. My thinking on this is: the concept of hereditary membership of the Illuminati seems like something that an outsider speculating on the Illuminati would think---that the Illuminati would be similar to hereditary wealth and power families.

Everyone in the Illuminati has reincarnated multiple times. The average age of the souls of Illuminati members is probably over 500 years old. Personally, I'm on my 5th incarnation, I was originally from the late 1700's. Reincarnation gives a person enormous cognitive advantages. When you hear about young children who speak 5 languages and play the violin and complete college textbooks at age 14.....this is likely a reincarnated person. Personally, I spoke German for a while as a young child, with no exposure to the German language, because in my previous life I was German.

Another interesting feature of reincarnation is that people who reincarnate tend to look quite different from their biological families---to the point where an outsider might ask whether the reincarnated person was adopted. So---there is some type of interplay between the soul and DNA expression.

About Hormones & Psychology
Here's another secret about the Illuminati---they inject adolescents with some type of substance, possibly a hormone or growth factors or something related to DNA or brain chemistry. At the Illuminati-run high school I went to, some of the freshmen boys (12 to 13 year olds....most skip a year), were given an injection of an unknown substance. I was one of the boys who got the injection. The cover story was that it was an immunization or something. It was injected by an Israeli female doctor, who flew from Israel to the USA just to give the injections. I heard a rumor that the injectable was extremely expensive at something like $100 000 per shot and that it had to be custom made for each person receiving it and that it was manufactured in Israel. This was back in the 1990's.

Another big big big secret that the Illuminati know about is that the age of the loss of virginity is crucially important to the development of a child's body and mind. Here's the key secret: the human body is intended to start having sex soon after puberty---as in age 11 or 12 or 13 for boys. And the first time a child has sex is crucial to a cascade of changes to the body and psychology.

I was told that studies had been done on what makes a person successful---and that the findings were that nearly all the great geniuses and super-successful people had lost their virginity at a very young age. And a related secret is---if a person loses their virginity much after puberty, say at age 16 or 18 years old, then that person cannot ever hope to be very successful in life.

Also related to age of virginity loss is: IQ, EQ (Energy Quotient), and height and build and appearance. If one loses his or her virginity younger, they tend to grow taller, have a better build, a higher IQ, and higher Energy (and libido) levels throughout life.

So---the Illuminati strive to make sure that adolescents lose their virginity as young as possible. Age 11 is considered a good age. Meanwhile, of course, society tells the masses---who could rightly be called slaves or drones or peons, the nonsense advice of "don't have sex until marriage." And this deliberately awful advice has the effect of rendering the majority of people too low in EQ and IQ to ever threaten the elites.

Essentially, Western Civilization is a pyramid, and part of that pyramid is due to the "bell curve" of EQ and IQ scores----which is, in part, deliberately maintained as a curve by the people at the very top of the social hierarchy.

On Psychological Trauma and Mind Control
So, here's where I'll reveal another major major major secret (good grammar be damned 3 majors are deserved here); at my Illuminati-run high school, all of the students are put through a form of mind control that involved extreme psychological trauma.

One of the main reasons why I quit the Illuminati (and yes, you should wonder at how I'm still alive---I'll explain later on), is that I remembered the mind control that I was put under at age 13 at my Illuminati high school.

....But 1st some background on trance
So....before I can explain mind control, I should mention the existence of psychological trance. It's possible to put a person into a state of psychological trance---in which the person seems sort of zombified, or sleeping while awake, passive, under the control of an outside voice. I suspect that psychological trance is actually used by the US government broadly on American middle school children---but I shall explain this later. The gist of trance is something like this: there are certain combinations of words, sounds, and pictures, that will put an exposed person into a trance state.

There are audios that, if you put headphones on a person, and make them listen to a 2 minute (roughly) trance-coded audio, then the person will go into a trance state and will become open to being controlled by another person. As an interesting aside, there are actually criminals who use trance in order to put victims into a trance state then command the victims to hand over financial information---I know this because I luckily (or synchronistically) met such a criminal, who told me about her scheme, and also told me that there's a secret law code dealing with crimes of magic (as trance induction is considered a form of magic) that deals an automatic death penalty to any criminal using magic. I was also told that there's a secret US Department of Magic that deals with trance and magic and so on. And yes---I know I'm into strange territory---but I'm just reporting what I've been told. 3 different unrelated people have told me that there's a US Department of Magic.

Satanic Mind Control on Subfreshmen's the nasty side of my revelations. I think it's good to cultivate a sense of humor about this world, because some aspects of the Illuminati are so very nightmarish---worse than any horror movie. And when you realize that these are the rulers of the can lead to depression, anger, and despair.

----On a nuisance note, just now, as I write these words, I just received an indicator that someone is watching me via remote viewing.....which is rather annoying, but as I'll explain later on, whenever you even talk about the Illuminati, or you're about to do something that annoys them, they somehow seem to find out about it. It seems we are in quite a prison-----

But---to continue my revelations anyway (you may want to save a copy of everything I write, and even make a hard copy the server might "mysteriously" delete all my messages).

At Illuminati High school, there's a 5th year called "subfreshmen" who are not quite freshmen and are considered sort of pre-students, a sort of evaluation year---where the Illuminati decide if they really want you or not. I should probably add that: nobody at the high school ever uses the word Illuminati---which is taboo, if you say "Illuminati" you'll get lectured. So the majority of the students have no idea that the Illuminati even exists. Around 10% or so of the students are in the actual Illuminati---and they tend to be very quiet and very serious and they don't reveal secrets to the regular students.

At Illuminati High, the mind control program is partially concealed by the PE, Physical Education program. There is a gymnasium where one of the PE teachers is actually an Illuminati mind controller, which is actually called a "Healer" in the Illuminati job-classification system. The Illuminati have just 3 archetypal job positions: Fighter, Thinker, or Healer. I was a fighter---which is partially why I'm still alive (as I'll eventually explain).

Anyway, here's what happens to the subfreshmen at Illuminati High school.
There are approximately 66 subfreshmen, and after the mind control there are approximately 60 remaining freshmen. I don't know what happens to the 10%---but I think they may well be dead (as the bodybags part of my story will suggest).

Each year, during the Spring, each of the subfreshmen is told that they must come to a scheduled "physical evaluation" at the gymnasium. And the gymnasium is mostly empty, strangely empty, when they do these "evaluations" which are actually mind control. The gymnasium itself at Illuminati High school has a large oval-shaped indoor running track which sits above a lower-level gymnastics area. And the "healer"---which I'll just call Ms.Programmer from now on, conducts the mind control sessions at a table set up on the running track.

Before you go to the "evaluation" sessions, you're told to evacuate your bowels. You're led up to the running track....and then my story gets horrible. The first thing that happens is---you are stripped totally naked. And there are two burly thugs---who are actually Archon (Illuminati) fighters, they are present to force you to comply. This won't make sense to most people---but the two fighters present were probably 333 Archon fighters, and not 666 Illuminati fighters, because their auras were extremely dark. 333 fighters (which is, as I've discovered a wing of the Illuminati) have black auras, as evil murderers do. 666 fighters have bright auras. So, this is part of why I realized that the Illuminati 666 is actually extremely evil---because they work with 333 fighters (who the 666 Illuminati claim are the "real bad guys" who rule the world that the "good" 666 Illuminati are fighting against). Sorry if this is confusing---it would take a lot of background knowledge to begin to explain the Illuminati.

Anyway---during the mind control session, Ms.Programmer puts you into a trance, and makes you extremely frightened. All sorts of mysterious psychology. She reads something like nonsense poems that have some sort of psychological effect. Stuff like "imagine a butterfly on the wind, imagine how graceful the wind feels, imagine a beautiful baby with the butterfly landing on his nose, now imagine a tree being sawn with a sharp metal saw, now imagine the baby being sawn in half, now imagine how the baby's blood spreads in a pool...." weird stuff like that. I specifically remember the cutting a baby in half part---the rest is my impression of the gist of it. There were all sorts of just random words in the "mind control poetry" reading, like "cherry tree, number 529, godzilla stomping, a lightswitch" just random-seeming word combinations.

Anyway....Ms.Programmer put me in a trance. And I remember one of the tests she did on me was to ask me to hold my hand up---and to my horror my hand seemed to be under her perfect control. I had no volitional ability to not do what she told me. If she said "put both hands up" my hands shot up---without my moving them. It felt as if I had become a prisoner in my own body. And I was completely terrified.

Anyway---on with the horror. Ms. Programmer wielded a very scary looking dagger. And she said that she enjoyed cutting off penises and that she had a jar at home of boy's penises in formaldehyde. And she said that she would love to add my penis to her collection if I failed the test that I was about to be given. She held the knife to my genitals and also to my throat. She also said that she and her two fighters had just mopped up all the blood with towels of the last person to fail the test. And she showed me a bloody towel.

Ms.Programmer pointed at several body bags that were stacked off to the side. I believe there were 3 body bags, that looked like they contained presumably bodies. She also told me that there were demons present in the room that would carry me straight to Hell if Ms.Programmer killed me.

I was mostly utterly terrified, and just trying to survive. I remember trying not to wet the chair because I was trembling and spasming in terror.

Anyway---the "test" part is a bit blurry. But here are the basics. Ms.Programmer said that she had been through this horror herself many times, and that she had been through far worse than what I was being put through. She said that Satan was God and the sooner you acknowledge that Satan is all powerful the better off you'll be.

Ms. Programmer said that Satan was watching in the room at that very moment, and that Satan personally watched all of the test sessions given to the subfreshmen. Part of the "test" was that I was forced to say various very-evil feeling statements. Here's some of what I remember being forced to say: "God is Satan and Satan is God"
"Good is evil and evil is good"
"I accept Satan as my father"
"[Ms.Programmer] is my mother"
And Ms.Programmer said that I had been successfully castrated. And she said that "Satan has all the penises." [As an aside....I know this is bizarre---it must have something to do with psychology and symbolism that I don't understand at all].
During the "test" I was told that I had better put all of my might into saying and believing everything I was told to recite. And that if she didn't think I was putting my whole self into the test that she would castrate me and then cut my throat. I don't remember all of the phrases---I was terrified, but it was all sorts of nightmarish garbage.

Anyway, I was told that I had failed the test. And then Ms.Programmer went with all-white eyes (the mark of 3rd eye trance), and she returned and said that I had been barely been granted as passing the test, on the authority of some powerful figure (possibly Pythagoras---the head of the Illuminati), and that normally I would be sent to Hell, but I had squeaked by.

The last part of the mind-control session was about some sort of command words. I don't clearly remember any of them. But there was another reading of random-sounding words. And, interestingly, there was what she called "subaudibles." I don't remember clearly if she had some sort of audio playback device or not. But part of it  had her saying something like this "you're going to freeze whenever you hear this"....and "now I'm going to play the subaudible, you won't hear anything." So---my takeaway from this part was that there's something called a "subaudible" command word. And apparently it may be a command word that is played at a decibel level that's below the threshold for conscious hearing. And---the other very interesting (and sinister) part I remember is (and granted I'm sort of foggy on this), but I think there was some sort of command where I was supposed to die if I heard it. There may have been a command for "commit suicide right now" as well.

Anyway---here's the big important part:
I believe that I am the only graduate of Illuminati High school who remembers the mind control session.
The reason this is important is---everyone in the Illuminati thinks that they worship the "True God" (not Satan). And they all think they are the good guys. They think they are fighting against evil.

And---I know many people who study the Illuminati think the Illuminati is just evil. Well---another revelation for Illuminati Studies is that there are actually 2 quasi-independent organizations, both of which people call Illuminati. The 666 Illuminati has 6000 members and follows Pythagoras. The 333 "Illuminati" or Archons or Overlords (whatever you wish to call them) also has 6000 members, and they are obviously horrifically evil, worshippers of Satan, torture people for amusement, monsters.

So---this has been a long post. But I hope you might realize that:
I'm possibly a major historical figure in exposing the Illuminati
If I could prove to my ex-fellow Illuminati members that they are all under mind control, and that the 333 Archons are actually the masters of the 666 Illuminati---then it's possible that there might be a lot more Illuminati defections.

I would also add that I believe that most Illuminati members are under much heavier forms of mind control than the "general mind control" that I just described that's done to (I believe) all of the subfreshmen at Illuminati High.

The bona-fida Illuminati members are under round-the-clock surveillance. Being in the Illuminati is essentially like being a prisoner who thinks he's a hero fighting for God against the forces of evil (the 333 side) that actually rule the world.

I also received this email from him:

There's a lot I could tell you about the Illuminati.
And---what you said about kids experiencing "missing time" (as I call it) is something familiar to me.

Basically---Uni High in Urbana Illinois is run by the Illuminati. And I was briefly recruited into the
lluminati proper.

About the missing-time phenomena----I witnessed students at Uni who would sometimes be pulled out of class, and I remember seeing one girl -name removed- who was pulled out of class and she was acting quite strangely, sort of giddy and unlike herself. And the next day she was back in class, and she seemed very confused about not remembering the previous day. And there was something about her getting a homework assignment back and saying something like "that's not something I would write, yet it's in my handwriting."

What causes missing time? Well---mind control is the short answer.

There's a lot about psychology that's kept secret---and much of it relates to spirituality, to sex, to libido, to trance states. I certainly haven't got it all figured out, but if it would interest you, I can offer significant clues.

Have you ever heard of something called a "trance doctor" in the UK? This is one of those big weird secrets that will likely sound very conspiratorial.

Honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you think I'm a nut. But---I hope I seem at least like a somewhat intelligent nut. You might note that Uni High has all sorts of famous intellectuals---it nearly always has the highest test scores in the whole USA, and 3 Nobel winners, ambassadors, professors and so on.

Well, on trace states---I believe (/suspect because I cannot totally verify this) that there is a system of medical doctors in the USA who are trained in how to put people into psychological trances. And the main reason why I believe so is that I've encountered them multiple times, and I've also met people who have talked of their existence.

Memory is sort of a critical puzzle in all this. We tend to have a naive view of our memories as freely available---as if you may remember everything that ever happened. I'm not sure how memory actually works---but I suspect it relates to some unknown property of physics and to unknown properties of psychology---perhaps involving some sort of collective-consciousness based memory. I say this because I have encountered the repeated phenomena where people who once knew things, who once had certain memories, later seem to lose those memories---specifically on taboo topics.

It seems as if there were some sort of spiritual memory-destruction system. Or, more radically---it may even be that "our" individual memories are not primarily stored in our physical brains---but are dispersed in some sort of society-wide collective memory system, which might explain how human memory could somehow be altered or erased.

Anyway---I could probably write a 300 page book about my experiences with Uni High and the Illuminati. I'm in a rather awkward situation now---in that I've basically told the Illuminati to go to hell....and afterwards my life just utterly fell apart. Very negative coincidences (like I got rammed by a truck that didn't even seem to brake---and had a 333 car plate, which is a mark of one wing of the "Illuminati"---there's a lot to explain). So---I'm not overly sure what to do. Also an unknown fighter, who I believe was Illuminati, tried to kill me (in a way that would also require a lot more explanation---there's a way to kill people using 3rd eye trance combined with projecting energy---it would take a lot of explaining).

So---if you're interested, I could tell you a ton of stuff. One problem I've found is that most people, if you say "Illuminati" they will just dismiss everything. Humanity seems tragically closed minded.

There's a lot of libido-related stuff in the Illuminati. And---this is something I don't fully understand. Do you know about energy? About libido energy?

At Uni High, we had a ritual, just the boys, for the Freshmen, in which there was a darkened hallway, and there was a torch. And we were told that "this represents the torch of the Enlightenment and we are carrying the torch to the next generation" sort of ritualistic claptrap. And the gist of the message was the following: all boys needed to lose their virginity as soon as possible and this was priority 1, and that lack of sex would cause schizophrenia, and that this was called Oral History because it was forbidden to write this knowledge down, and then we were forced to swear an oath to say something like "I swear to keep this information secret and I swear that I shall kill anyone who dares reveal it."

My understanding is: that each person has an "energy level" which could also be called libido level (as energy is primarily expressed as libido---which is the sex drive, but also the general power source for motivation and intellectual pursuits). And that this libido level is crucial to a person's success in life. We were told that all the world's most successful people lost their virginity at a very young age--like 13 or so. Sort of as an aside---I actually had sex at my high school at age 13 in this weird basement room (which perhaps I'll ramble more about later).

Anyway---we were also shown, during one class, these graphs which showed distributions of IQ, Intelligence Quotient, alongside EQ, which means Energy Quotient (not---I might add Emotional Intelligence---which is also sometimes called EQ), the measure of libido energy potential. And it was shown to us that there is a correlation between IQ and EQ---which effectively means that the younger a person loses their virginity, combined with whatever natural energy aptitude, influences their intelligence. And we were told that Success in Life = IQ x EQ
In other words: a person must be very intelligent and also have a very strong libido to accomplish very much.

I was also taught that partnered sexual intercourse replenishes energy. Whereas non-partnered masturbation would decrease energy. And that if you avoided sex for too long, and your energy level dropped too far---you would then end up with what's classified by society as a form of schizophrenia. And that society classifies low-energy as schizophrenia because society could not possibly admit that some people have "psychological problems" that are simply based on sexual energy problems---because 1) this would force society to admit the existence of libido energy---which has spiritual qualities. and 2) society couldn't possibly cure people's problems by giving out "medical" sex---because prescribing sex to a patient would upend the whole secret game of sexual competition.

Also---interestingly enough, I once met a woman from the former Soviet Union and she had very interesting things to say about sex. For one she said that the Soviet Union had a system of "sexual reward officers" and that she was one of them---and that they basically were only Peter Folk of Urbana Illinois
Nasri Hajj of Washington DC
Matthew Bandy---Illinois?
Jeff Thorn--at Boeing Co....

These are real Illuminati members....and I could probably list a lot more.

None are "rich and powerful" because the Illuminati work through spiritual means----there's a lot more to explain, but basically magic is real and it's enormously politically important. barely like escorts. She told me that calling her an escort was a gross insult, but that there was really no English translation of her social position---that these Soviet "sex officers" (I forget their name) were well respected, sort of like police officers. And that she was to have sex with certain men as a reward for good service to the Soviet Union---but to perform sex as a representative of the Soviet system---not as an individual. And---she also noted that there was a system of sexual socialism in the Soviet Union and that the rate of so-called schizophrenia in the Soviet system was much lower than in the USA. I add this because it jives with the other information.

One of the things at Uni High that was done, was partnering students together to exchange sexual energy. And the stated purpose was that: if you exchanged sexual energy with someone who was particularly talented in some area, that it would increase your future ability in that area. So as a specific example, there was one young man, named -name removed- --who is now some sort of PhD of chemistry---who was extremely talented at mathematics. And he would sometimes pair up (in private I only heard about these things) with other students, male and female, and they would exchange sexual energy by masturbating together in close physical proximity. (and yes, it sounds very awkward---I was told that boys would masturbate standing back-to-back).

So---the interesting thing about this secret is that it implies that the exchange of sexual energy does something to the mind---perhaps it creates a lasting subconscious connection? Perhaps there's some sort of "imprinting" of memory?

Anyway---I've had two different people in the US military tell me nearly the same thing----that the US army, back in Vietnam, had what they called the "buddy system" in which men---who were away from sexual partners for a long time, out on duty in the field---would be instructed to partner up with another male, go off somewhere in private, and masturbate together in order to replenish their energy levels. And---another man in the US navy told me nearly the same thing about the so-called "buddy system" of partnered male masturbation.

Maybe I should mention the basics of the Illuminati.
There are 6000 members of the Illuminati 666. And---when I was recruited into the Illuminati I was told that the Illuminati are the freedom fighters trying to save the world from an evil organization variously called the Overlords or the Archons (I call them the Overlords), which rules half the world and also has 6000 members. I was told that there was a treaty between the Illuminati 666 and the Overlords 333. I use those numbers, because those triple digit numbers show up on everything connected with them.

As an aside---one way I've thought of "proving" some of this is by taking photographs of car license plates of people from Uni High---a very large number of which contain the number 666 (and until I resigned from the Illuminati, I had 4 different cars, each of which "randomly" contained a number 666 in the plate). When you see a parking lot photo, in which half the cars have 666 plates---it should make even a skeptic about synchronicity and numerology wonder at the long-odds of that being a random coincidence.

Anyway---the reason I resigned from the Illuminati is that I remembered something major that I went through that I don't think most Illuminati members even remember----namely being put under mind control by an extremely evil trio of people----who seemed to be part of the 333 Overlords organization. And plus there was other evidence pointing towards my conclusion: that the "enemies" of the Illuminati---the "overlords" are in fact a wing of the Illuminati.

If you've read the novel 1984---in which there's an evil government that sets up the very resistance movement against itself---that's roughly my understanding of the Illuminati-Overlords. To make it a little weirder----to get slightly Biblical---I note that the Book of Revelation talks of a two-part organization---the Beast of the Land and Beast of the Sea.....with the number 666......which seems plausibly connected to my experience.

So----I'm not really sure what to think----there's a lot more to explain. But I left the Illuminati after.....roughly 6 months---so I never got the proper Illuminati training. I know much less than a typical Illuminati member.

If you want some names:
George Gruschow, of Chicago

So----sorry if this email is rather rambling, but I hope you find it somewhat interesting. You might read about Pythagoras and the Pythagoreans---who became the Illuminati----they basically skyrocketed in knowledge. I was told that humanity took the materialism route, and the Illuminati learned astral projection and took the spiritual route---and the spiritual route leads to vastly increased knowledge and intelligence (there are beings with 300+ IQ scores), and this allowed the Illuminati such enormous power that they focused on defeating the Overlords---a rival spiritual order---and gave up on communicating with humanity. Although now---I suspect that's all a lie.

Anyway---the interesting thing about me is: I may be one of the very few people who was in the Illuminati who is free-enough of their control to actually talk about them. I don't think I mentioned enough that everyone in the Illuminati is under all sorts of mind-control, and they are watched 24/'s like a prison---it's surely not caviar and luxury and the nonsense most people think it is---it's pretty much a horrific job.

Well---perhaps I should write that 300 page book:)

I hope that something I've written will resonate with you, and perhaps you might share any thoughts you have, or any weird secrets you know (I'm trying to solve the mystery myself).
And yes, there are people who can read minds. I don't know how. People in the Illuminati described something called influencing---as a psychic skill. It was said to be something like "reading the cartoon thought balloons" above a person's head, and popping the unwanted balloons---as a way to influence what a person would say and think.

When I joined the Illuminati, they gave me a couple code-names. Everyone gets multiple code names. And the weird thing is: they also gave me a website to download videos and music and audios.

I'll give you one of the websites related to them....

Which seems like just some random person's site. The odd things is---this person's voice is very much similar to was rather creepy to first listen to some of the audios.
I was told that each one of us in the Illuminati is given multiple avatars---and that an avatar was something like a clone of your soul.

So----I know this is very odd territory---I don't pretend to understand it. I guess I should just work on my book---I've written a lot, it's just not edited and well-written.

I'm in the odd position that I was only in the Illuminati effectively very briefly---as in, I never received the standard training that they get---they can do all sorts of amazing things, they can watch anyone anywhere somehow. But---I think I also missed out on whatever mind control that new Illuminati members get put through.

I did get put through mind control---when I was 13 at Uni High, just like everyone else at that school. But---I only recently got "re-recruited" in 2012...but after around 6 months I told them I wanted nothing more to do with them, partially because I remembered the mind-control I was put through at age 13---which is something that I don't think anyone else remembers. But I assume that, had I been given training in 2012 or 2013 that it's very plausible that they would've put me through whatever enhanced mind-control that I assume they are all under.

Anyway---maybe I've rambled enough. I should say that Illuminati members seem like the nicest people you would ever meet--they don't seem evil. They say that they worship the "True God." But---one of the things I remember from my 13 year old mind-control experience (which was nasty), was that "God means Satan" and I was forced to say "I accept Satan as my father," and also accept the mind-control woman as my mother---who knows the psychology of it all.

So---I've got a lot to write about.

One thing you could verify is that Uni High has 333 in the phone numbers....and.....if you wanted to bother with researching the alumni of Uni High, nearly all of their home addresses have multiple 6's in them, such as 1616 Somewhere Road, or 626 Niceview Drive....and so on. I add this because it's something verifiable---hopefully proof of odd numerological synchronicities.

This was the last email I received and it's been nearly a year since I heard from him. I hope he's ok.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Mind Control: A personal story.

The first steps on a very strange trail.

I have rather a privileged and fortunate position regarding my ability to comment on the cult known as freemasonry and the social control collective known as the Illuminati.  My family on my father’s side have the cursed royal blood originating from the Yorkshire based Fitzwilliam family at Wentworth. This was something that my nana always went on about, and how someone told her father that our family would always be ‘looked after’, needless to say like so many promises from those in the establishment and in a position to confer unlimited wealth, it never materialised. And so I forgot all about our aristocratic pretensions until some very strange things started happening to me.

Looking back on this period in my life feels like Alice returning to the Wonderland, albeit rather a frightened and uneasy one, I didn’t quite have the natural fearless authority of Alice as she negotiated the underworld.  I was working as an English teacher at a very small language school in the French Massif Central, when some six months after starting I was enrolled on a course called a BAFA (Brevet, formation animateur ) which basically allows you to supervise children and run holiday camps, basically it’s a kind of scout leader qualification and an uncanny number of French young people above the age of sixteen seem to have one. In my instance the course took place in a very remote rural village deep in the volcanic mountains of the Massif central. The course was to last 8 days and was what they call ‘intensive’ which is a rather ambiguous new euphemism for a particular peculiarly personally invasive kind of training. I have undertaken several of these so called ‘intensive’ courses over the years but the BAFA was my very first and it was quite a shock, it was in fact an initiation. The first step of a descending pathway that would have led me to hell and the life of a slave robotised by terror, had I not finally woken up to where I was being taken.

Initially I had no suspicions that there was something unusual about the course, I arrived with my bag packed with changes of clothes, towels, and the bathroom products I would need for the 8 day duration. I was shown to my dormitory which I shared with 3 others. Things started taking a turn for the unusual after the third day. The course was very demanding and the amount of information was intended to overload the mind. Each morning a new time table would be put up on the white board, the complexity of which was quite mind blowing and it was necessary to study the time table for about half an hour each morning in order to know what was happening that day and where. Indeed one session of study wasn’t enough and it was quite impossible to copy any details from the timetable as it was simply too complicated so one constantly felt throughout the course that one was perhaps not quite in the right place and one constantly wondered if one had missed some information or instruction from the timetable. In addition to the courses there were assignments to complete and simulation activities to prepare. In all it was very exhausting, the day began at six in the morning for no very good reason at it seemed that lectures and activities seemed to last all evening. There was no time alone that wasn’t spent working on something or studying something relevant to the course.
Looking back the first peculiarity of the course, when I first noticed something ‘special’ about the training was an activity where we, the thirty odd trainees were in a room and instructed to move about the room without bumping into any of the other people, we were told to adopt a special walk as we crossed and circled the room. The facilitator then made a sound, not of words but more a collection of vowels, like a mantra, which we were to repeat as we walked around the room. During this experience, about 5 minutes in, I started to feel unusual, slightly light headed but happy, almost ecstatic. I realised then that there was slightly more to this training that I had initially considered. It seemed that here was a kind of transcendental technique, or at the very least, a way to relax people.  I recently communicated with a person who was involved in the Illuminati through her grandmother and husband, who informed me that her grandmother had taken her to the lodge where there was a strange kind of music being played while they walked around and around the lodge while a variety of Hebrew characters were flashed to them. It seems to me that the intention was to create a mild trance in order that the symbols permeate the subconscious mind in order for use and recall at a later date.

After this experience I felt a closer bond with the people around me and relaxed my guard and considered to myself that I might actually enjoy the training. And so the first objective had been achieved by the trainers, namely that my guard had been dropped and I had begun to trust those around me (not always a good idea in these fraught times, there are predators everywhere) and I accepted the validity of the course and considered that it would do me some good. In retrospect the course did me an awful lot of good but certainly not in the way intended.

The programme stepped up and rather than a feeling that I was getting closer to my fellow trainees  (following the trance inducing activity of the previous evening) I awoke up to find the pressure had been doubled and there was even more work to be done. I also found that the people I shared a dorm with and people who it seemed I was getting closer too, were suddenly cold, almost robotic, in their speech and interaction with me. This confused me at the time and, as was intended, led me to question myself, analyse my behaviour, and ask myself it there was something I had done to upset them, or indeed if there was some fundamental failing in my personality that made people treat me in this way. And so I became further disempowered  by  concerning myself with the opinions of the other trainees.  Later on in this book I will seek to concretise an awareness in how these techniques work by deconstructing the film Shutter Island. 

Some days later it became clear that a full psychological test was being carried out and my reactions and demeanour analysed and noted, the programme and behaviour of the other ‘trainees’ being modulated in line with the needs of the test and my responses. That evening we all went out for a drink in one of the local cafe bars, the place was surprisingly crowded for a midweek evening in a remote French village but at the time I thought nothing of it, everyone seemed pretty determined to get drunk for some reason, I didn’t particularly fancy taking part in their heroic endeavours as I have previously explained, the odd aloofness of most of the trainees made me feel uncomfortable and I didn’t much fancy getting drunk in unfamiliar company. However a drink was offered to me and I asked for a verre of rouge, that is, a glass of red wine.  As soon as I asked for the drink there was an odd moment, everybody looked at me and there were noises of disapproval, I felt myself turning red and again examining myself and wondering what I had done wrong this time.

Needless to say the evening passed uncomfortably with people seeming to ignore my attempts at conversation and my being more or less ostracised. These methods are the tried and tested methods used in order to psychological disrupt someone in order eventually to break them completely. Break their sense of self, independence and pride. The new age refers to this as breaking the down ego, in order apparently that we achieve some kind of enlightenment. The techniques are as ancient as mankind itself, and harks back to shamanism and the secrets of the ancient Egyptians, through to the Greek mystery schools such as the Eleusinian mysteries where ancient allegories were re-enacted and sex and murder was actually part of the rites which were witnessed by the inductee and who was sworn to secrecy about what he had seen under pain of death. Then Roman subterranean cults such as Mithraism were the initiate would be installed in a special underground pit while a full grown bull was placed above the pit on a grille and was slaughtered releasing the blood into the underground pit. This is one of the few secrets of Mithraism to have slipped through the millennia aged secrets of the cult and no doubt modern equivalents of these rites are still carried out today, particularly by wiccan societies and especially by Satanist groups.  The effect of these rites were to terrorise and profoundly unsettle the mind of the initiate and set the way for a gradual change in their behaviour  and perception of reality itself. The modern day secrets of the freemasons were passed on from the Knight Templars and led to the rebirth of empire, signalled by the classical laurel leaves whose symbol harks back to the Roman empire and whose symbol has been successfully rewoven into the fabric (literally in the instance of the Henri Lloyd logo) of modern society.

To resume the story, later that evening  we returned back to the centre, somewhat worse for wear, when one of my roommates took me to one side and brought out a marijuana joint and asked me if I wanted some. A ploy of entrapment and compromising the target frequently employed by the secret societies. I smoked some of the proffered joint and we returned to the centre. To my surprise a last minute seminar had been arranged, only somehow I had not been informed so when I returned to the centre I found everyone in their seats and left me wondering why I had somehow been excluded from being informed about it. As I sat down, in that characteristic self conscious, self negating way that one does when one is acutely embarrassed at entering a seemingly important meeting late and unprepared, I saw all eyes turn to me and I felt a sudden light headedness, the strangest thing of all was that I heard a voice commenting on how I was feeling. The light headedness became as fuzziness of self and I had the impression that somehow, by some mysterious psychological process, I was merging with the group and losing my idea of self. I heard somebody say in French: ‘he’s feeling it now, he’s joining us’. I knew they were referring to me and at that moment a proverbial penny dropped and I realised that all was not as it seemed and I realised I had no idea at all what was going on or what I was involved with. At that point my sense of self reasserted itself and rejected the thought of becoming a part of this seeming group awareness. This seemed to be the evening of the great revealing  and the slight sense of embarrassment and unease I had been feeling turned more to terror as my time in the centre deteriorated into a voyage to the Twilight Zone.

Back in the dorm I was feeling hemmed in on all sides, ‘trapped in a square’ as the masons have it, a phrase which refers to someone who is totally under control of his brother masons and can turn to no one for help or assistance. The psychological results of this situation where the individual can no longer make choices of his own which will not somehow be detrimental to himself, where the free will and ability to act independently become completely dissolved, and that person loses his focus and his ability to undertake any task that he is not specifically told to do. He becomes a literal slave and his own psyche is his gaoler. Any attempts to break the programming and assert his own wishes result in a feeling of disorientation, weakness and panic, until he gives up the attempt and settles back into the role of slave.

The initial stages of this condition were starting to develop in me. I assumed however that perhaps by listening to some music on my Walkman I would be able to relax and feel a little less strung-out. What I heard as l put my headphones on and tuned in the radio shocked me and left me in a such a state of nervous tension that I could not sleep at all that night, but instead lay there fearful of what their next move would be. There was a looped techno style backing track, it sounded oddly sinister like some kind of music that one would imagine would be used in CIA brainwashing, while a voice over repeated again and again ‘Open the files on the FBI! Keep it a secret! Keep it a secret!’ as I tuned throughout the frequencies of my radio I found the same track on every station, it was hard to decide whether I was going mad or not at this stage but I knew what I was hearing at the time and knew that it was real enough. Final confirmation was given to me as I came out of my bed and saw the look on one of my dorm-mate’s faces who was also listening to his walkman, the look on his face was of pure guilt, as if he was knowingly involved in an unpleasant trick being played on myself and which he knew to be wrong.

 I have since heard from other sources that other people have been sent on similar training courses and were told to listen to their radios at a specific  time of day, they have reported similar strange radio programmes being broadcast, doubtlessly by a local transmitter especially for the purpose. In hindsight I suspect this is a fairly routine way for masons to recruit other members but at the time I suspected I was slowly becoming involved in the French secret services as the messages on the radio broadcast were decidedly critical of American hegemony. What came from this experience more than fear was my sense of anger and how I had been tricked into coming here, clearly I would not have come had I known that I was being involved in some strange initiatory conditioning program.

I was furiously angry yet I maintained composure and even a pleasant demeanour to the strange characters around me. The key to the experience of the course was that the people one assumed to be fellow trainees, the ones you bantered with, slept and ate with, were in fact the real trainers. They were there to break your old character and help mould a new one. Eventually I decided to leave, although I was in some fear that it might not be so simple to extricate myself after so much of their method had been exposed to me. However I made my intentions clear to the overseer who offered me some kind of deal, I was in no mood to compromise with these creeps and so I refused without even asking what the details of the deal would be.

I returned home feeling strung out, annoyed and slightly unstable. I felt like something was going on around me but I didn’t know what. At one point I visited the supermarket and found a couple of French women pointing at me down the biscuit aisle and saying ‘he’s lost his mind, just look at him’. Half of me attributed this to some kind of ‘follow up’ to the BAFA course, a sort of targeted victimisation, while the other half didn’t know what to make of it at all.

Within a few weeks I had put the delusion that I was being recruited for some organisation behind me, and I told myself that  the reason the course had become so unpleasant was because I had smoked that joint. Still it wasn’t my fault, it was entrapment, so with residual feelings of anger and a feeling that my civil rights had been violated by these jokers, I wrote to the Minister for Youth and Sports a detailed letter explaining my grievances. Some weeks later I received a reply and an interview with the local government representative. Prior to this meeting I had imagined that the stress and insidious nature of the course had made me go half mad and started imagining all sorts of delusions: secret agent delusions, elite organisation delusion and another line of thought that I couldn’t quite define, it seemed like I had undergone some kind of death and rebirth and that life would never be the same again, indeed it was hard to know what ‘life’ was at all and what the nature of the world I lived in was all about. This final thought process led me at times to believe that all the things I had taken for granted as real and authentic, such as people places and relationships, might not be what they appeared and that something odd was going on behind the scenes, someone or something unknowable and invisible was orchestrating meetings and coincidences in a rather unsettling manner.

At the time also I was watching a variety of metaphysical movies which seemed to deal with the strange experiences and people I had met, a film such as Jacob’s Ladder for example, which will be discussed along with the true purpose of many Hollywood  movies in a later chapter. These films served only to fuel my delusions even further and I soon started feeling as if I was somehow stuck between two worlds but not at home in either of them.  

Fortunately the meeting, although I was basically tricked out of any right to complain I might have had, helped me immeasurably to get back my natural grounding in reality. Even following the weeks after the course and prior to the interview I was in two minds as to what had really transpired. Part of me found it unbelievable that such a structure could exist and that so many people could be enrolled to take part, the cost must be incredible, I wondered if I had imagined some things and read too much into others. The letter I had angrily written accused the course designers of using Nazi techniques to break the will of the person, not that I knew particularly what Nazi techniques involved, but it seemed about the strongest most righteously indignant invective I could fire at them.

As a result one of the first things he wanted to address was why I had accused them of Nazi techniques, something I have since learned about people and perhaps a most valuable piece of advice for getting through this life experience with a full set of marbles tiddlywinks and without going to jail would be that the best way to lose an argument is to throw it away. By nature I am a person always willing to compromise, almost to the point of surrendering my own opinion and point of view, for the sake of peace and harmony. What happened in the meeting was that the good regional director of the ministry of Youth and Sports had cleverly (although it is a common enough psychological trick) directed the issue away from my complaint and instead wanted me to account for why I had called them Nazis, in my moderating and naive frame of mind I went along with his suggestion that my definition had been excessive and rather than holding my corner, the conciliation genie got hold of me and agreed with him. Straight away I noticed I had lost my case completely, there was a change in the air that spelt out clearly enough that the interview was over and I had thrown in my hand. However, due to God’s grace or some innate good quality in the regional director’s character he finished the interview with something that saved my sanity right there: He said “We don’t do this special type of course for just anybody!’. It was a tacit understanding that there was something going on, that they had modified the course for my own benefit and that they were indeed trying to recruit me for something. It would take about seven years of uncertainty and confusion before I finally discovered what it was.

Some months later I left the association  and the strange secret little rural pocket of France and went up to Paris to undertake another training course. This one was called one of the ‘better’ type of TEFL qualifications and was described as ‘challenging’ and ‘intensive’. Fortunately the BAFA experience had prepared me for what to expect and so I went through the course completely refusing to reveal too much about myself and steadfastly refusing to trust any one of the other so called ‘trainees’.

I decided that I would go through the course and try to see if I could tell who was who. Who were the trainers and who were the real trainees like me. There were approximately 20 other trainees on the course, and I easily spotted the ‘facilitators’ within the group, those who seemed to always hold the ‘right’  view about everything and who the other people supported every time, however the one thing that seemed to identify these facilitators is that there was a certain lack of something in their character. They seemed friendly and could converse easily, they didn’t have horns or the mark of the beast  or any other particular identifying mark but there was something that seemed missing about them. The fact that they were playing a part meant there was a certain lack of passion in them, they just seemed to be rolling along with a program.

Their eyes weren’t expressive of any positive emotion, they seldom laughed and indeed if you are receptive to people’s emotions you would notice a distinguishable sadness in their eyes along with a kind of cynicism. If you ever spot anyone who seems to suggest this to you be very weary that this person may not be what they seem. They seem emotionally closed down. The course lasted one month and ran from 9-5 everyday. There was the option to make it residential but I realised that I would be in a much weaker situation in this instance so I made the rather lengthy commute from my girlfriend’s quiet forest home to the centre of Paris every day. Probably was the only way I could have stuck out the endless hypocrisy and downright deceit and subterfuge of the course. It was galling to find that you were being moulded into being a good teacher using immoral means. Straightaway the course held no joy or interest for me, it was just an endless slog, made bearable only by the opportunity to walk around Paris at lunchtime and the return home to the forest and fine wine and good French food in the evening.

Anyway when the month was up I was informed I had passed the course and immediately I left to work abroad and while at the airport I came across the book that would for the first time would clear up the entire mystery of who these people were and how they could afford to run such a cost intensive course on only a relatively nominal 1000 pounds fee. The book was The Biggest Secret by David Icke and for the first time I became acquainted with the force that had been pursuing me, training me and generally trying to scramble my brains: The Freemasons. It all made sense! It fit perfectly. The relief I felt was enormous! Finally all the uncertainty and fear of going mad, all my delusions had been proven right. I wasn’t deluded, something  genuinely was going on.

I'm on FIRE with dat TROOF.

I'm on FIRE with dat TROOF.
Kundalini refugee doing a bit of landscaping.