Showing posts with label adrenochrome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adrenochrome. Show all posts

Thursday 20 July 2023

Harassing Spirits and Demons....


THAT STRANGE SOMETHING


 

By the end of the book, Barbara has rationalised away the existence of the ‘Operators’ as being part of her unconscious mind which had been brought in as an emergency remedy to help heal her mind. It is not entirely clear to me at least how the symptoms of mental illness can form part of its cure and I am not entirely convinced that these Operators were merely something conjured up by her own mind.

If for instance Barbara can admit that ‘Something’ guided her on the winning numbers for the Las Vegas roulette wheel; how upon deciding that she needed to find a job, how that same ‘Something’ led her to the precise street and building where an opportunity had just arisen, and furthermore, in one passage how one of the ‘Operators’ apparently advised her before leaving her mountain cabin to take a flashlight with her, it being early in the day Barbara herself could not understand the logic of the Operator’s demands but she took a flashlight with her all the same. It was only when she arrived in town to find that the bus-service she had intended to use to return to the cabin had been discontinued and that she had a three hour wait for a different service, by which time when she finally returned home it was not only dark, but she was apparently being tracked by a mountain lion, which with judicious application of the flashlight, she managed to scare off. There is no way Barbara herself could have foreseen any of these events and one is left with the conclusion that it must be some kind of all-seeing all-knowing force which exists beyond the human realm.

The great striking point here which splits and sends people to man their trenches and rally to their standards and fight with all their might is whatever they would give in answer to the ultimate question: Does God exist? Those who answer no, consider belief in God unscientific and wishful thinking; the belief in spirits and demons as delusion and superstition, and possibly consider those that do as intellectually challenged. For them, schizophrenia is solely a disease of the individual’s own mind and the delusions and the cast of voices show the astonishing power of the human brain.

Those that do however, see God as being present in the elements and experiences of life which science cannot answer. They consider spirits and demons as a possibility; the human body is only a vessel which the spirit temporarily occupies so could it not be that since consciousness continues after death in the spirit then it must logically follow, that spirits can exist independent of a physical form, without human bodies, or physical bodies at all. All religion and folk traditions have some commentary to make on the existence of these discarnate beings, and according to many of the descriptions of these creatures in many of the ancient holy books of the world’s religions the creatures which alternately persecuted and apparently aided Barbara, seem like a combination of the angels, demons and Djinns of the ancient faiths.

A very peculiar comment is made by the Operators about God which evokes something almost Biblical about the fall of man and the fallen state of the world:

“Operators, very early in the history of civilization, had surrounded the earth with an airfield of steel rays so powerful that even God couldn’t get through.”

An airfield of steel-rays is clearly just a metaphor for some other form of power and it reminds me of the work of CS Lewis whose remarkable science fiction trilogy, ending with That Hideous Strength, evokes this idea, less that God is banished from Earth but more that an evil principle known as Oyarsa: the bent one, has taken ownership of Earth, leading to a kind of spiritual quarantine of our planet by the spiritual forces of the solar system. The condition of this quarantine is that Earth’s Oyarsa cannot travel beyond the Moon’s orbit but nor are the other spiritual powers or Oyeresu allowed to come to Earth to intervene.

Another thing which makes me wonder whether the Operators might be a real phenomenon and that Barbara wasn’t hallucinating their existence but that due to the adrenochrome toxin in her blood, was able to perceive things which our consciousnesses usually filters out of our reality as being perhaps too strange and disturbing, is one of the dangers of being targeted by malicious Operators.

“At least, buy some nails and a hammer nail down the windows. Because that’s the way you’re going to go. Wait until you have twenty Operators from the council in here, working on your mind, telling you to jump. Believe me, you’ll jump. So far as the council is concerned, you’re a monstrosity and a source of danger, something that has to be put out of the way.” 

When one notices the same trends in different people’s experiences then one has to assume there might be some commonality at the root of those experiences. It is very common for those suffering from schizophrenia and hearing voices, to be driven to suicide by those voices. If these voices were part of our own subconscious mind, then why would it have any desire or interest in killing itself? It makes no sense, considering the natural imperative for survival which is supposedly one of the strongest instincts in man. This seems to go against nature and it would seem to make sense that only a maliciously inclined outside force which takes pleasure in human misfortunes would have any desire to drive a person to suicide.

In the book The Siren Call of the Hungry Ghosts, which deserves a full investigation all of its own and Youtuber ‘Zap Oracle’ has actually published an excellent two hour video which explains anything I could go into here; suffice it to say that it is an investigation into the world of channelling, ghosts and mediums which Joe Fisher, who at 22 set a record as England’s youngest ever editor in chief at the Staffordshire Advertiser and later went on to become one of Canada’s leading investigative reporters, becomes personally embroiled in discovering whether there is any truth to the existence of ghosts and spirits. His last words to his editor-in-chief at Paraview Books Patrick Huyghe shortly before he threw himself to his death from a limestone gorge at Elora Gorge in Ontario Canada, were that the spirits were still after him for having written his last book which was The Siren Call of Hungry Ghosts.

My fundamental question here is do these ghosts, demons, spirits, djinns actually exist in some real spirit form which can interact with the human world to a limited extent and are there certain people in certain circumstances who find themselves in full contact with these beings?

If the answer is yes then it forces us to reconsider a great deal about what we think we know about the nature of humanity, its origins, the problems we face and in truth, it answers a lot of questions I think we all have and many of the mysteries which have plagued us for millennia can be solved by incorporating this shadowy world as a fundamental causative agent over much of the history of human activity. Perhaps even, a causative agent over some of our very thoughts.

Cross-referencing the ‘Operators’ of this book with the demons from CS Lewis’ Screwtape Letters and Evelyn Waugh’s The Ordeal of Gilbert Penfold convinces me that there is some objective reality to these ghostly Operators since the same characters using the same kind of programme can be discovered in other people’s experiences.

The Screwtape Letters is a series of correspondences between a junior devil or ‘tempter’ Wormwood, and his ‘uncle’ Screwtape, where uncle Screwtape advises his nephew on how best to lead the human, described as ‘the patient’ he is tempting astray from God and the road to salvation and towards a petty-minded self-concerned cynical intellectual materialism, which CS Lewis satirically alludes suits the devil so well.

It’s not necessary for the temptee to do anything particularly evil to find himself drawn into the devil’s party, merely when the thought of eternity, heaven and salvation may come in the way, be distracted into forgetting all about them by thoughts of lunch, or the passage of the number five bus and the front page of the newspaper.

As Screwtape later says:

“The safest road to hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, milestones, without signposts.” Conversely the road to heaven and the glimpse of the transcendental can be achieved in the most mundane of actions as Screwtape admonishes Wormwood and accuses him of allowing the patient to slip through his fingers when he allows him to read a book he really enjoyed, then compounded this by letting the man walk down to the old mill (a walk through country he really likes) and have tea there, alone. By allowing the patient two real pleasures his soul edges closer to God and out of the grip of hell.

Screwtape wants to eradicate any pleasure that is not actually a sin, such as a fondness for country cricket or collecting stamps or drinking cocoa because “there is a sort of innocence and humility and self-forgetfulness about them”.

CS Lewis’ demonic tempters bear a similarity to the Operators except that they have not revealed themselves to the ‘patient’ but exist, just as the Operators were said to exist to normal people, as a voice which most people assume to be the voice of their own thoughts and ideas. It is only at the end of the book when the ‘patient’ is killed during the war by a falling bomb that he finally glimpses these spirits which have guided him through life for better or worse:

“There was a sudden clearing of the eyes and he saw you for the first time, and recognised the part you had had in him and knew that you had it no longer. Just think (and let it be the beginning of your agony) what he felt at that moment; as if a scab had fallen from an old sore…”

For Lewis, death is where we glimpse these opposing factions continuously trying to direct and gently nudge the soul either to heaven or hell and the patient, finally breaking free from Wormwood and seeing his part in influencing his thoughts while alive, it is as if “he shuffled off for good and all, a defiled, wet clinging garment.”

From Lewis’ vision and the classical orthodoxy of demonic beings it is generally understood that they exist apart from the kingdom of God and are antagonistic to both it, and mankind which is an emanation of this kingdom since it is also generally considered within all of the literature of the world’s religions and metaphysics, that man has some divine spark, some small portion of the creator within himself. I always find this passage intensely moving and Lewis’ astonishing description of what might happen at the moment of death and passing to the next life seems itself to be so radiantly full of light and understanding that I am humbled by his eloquence and the beauty of his vision:

“As he saw you, he also saw Them. I know how it was. You reeled back dizzy and blinded, more hurt by them than he had ever been by bombs. The degradation of it!—that this thing of earth and slime could stand upright and converse with spirits before whom you, a spirit, could only cower. Perhaps you had hoped that the awe and strangeness of it would dash his joy. But that is the cursed thing; the gods are strange to mortal eyes, and yet they are not strange. He had no faintest conception till that very hour of how they would look, and even doubted their existence. But when he saw them, he knew that he had always known them and realised what part each one of them had played at many an hour in his life when he had supposed himself alone, so that now he could say to them, one by one, not ‘Who are you?’ but ‘So it was you all the time’. All that they were and said at this meeting woke memories. The dim consciousness of friends about him which had haunted his solitudes from infancy was now at last explained; that central music in every pure experience which had always just evaded memory was now at last recovered.”

 


Thursday 5 May 2022

The Mystery of Adrenochrome

 


OPERATING BEYOND SAFE PARAMETERS


In the free Tokyo English language ex-pat newspapers and magazines one finds, at least when I lived there, advertisements and notices which raise many questions in themselves. If you were to go there now and thumb through the classifieds and jobs sections, the chances are you will find offers of certain kinds of special employment available exclusively to Filipino women. One such advert I found said something along the lines of: “wanted, psychically gifted Filipinos for ethical work in Tokyo area...” This raises two main questions immediately. Firstly, are there various agencies which know that psychic powers exist and they can use them for some purpose? Secondly if it is necessary for them to make the distinction that the work offered is ‘ethical’ then what else is going on out there behind the scenes involving ‘psychically gifted Filipinos’ which is not ethical?

What these ‘psychically gifted’ women or ‘witches’ as I would classify the bunch I happened to be sharing a house with, seemed able to do: and a South African Shaman friend of mine later confirmed to me that it was something she could also do, was to be able to project their consciousness into the mind of another person.

In the book The Chasm of Fire, Irene Tweedie documents a woman’s experience in India studying under a Sufi shaman. In the account she details the occurrence of her mentor actually entering her mind at night time and projecting all sorts of unsettling and unpleasant images into her mind. Most of the images are of a sexual nature and Tweedie fails to understand the process and why her mentor is doing such a thing to her. Eventually she comes close to a nervous breakdown and becomes very lonely and depressed to such an extent that she abandons the training.

The process which Irene Tweedle had chosen to enrol herself in and later abandoned, was a deliberate attempt by her Sufi mentor to drive her insane through the relentless terror and shock of the visions he was implanting in her mind. To Tweedle this made no sense, but if she had known perhaps that schizophrenia is the key to the Sufi ‘enlightenment’ and indeed the key goal of all such secret society initiatory programmes, then this knowledge would have allowed her to make sense of what was happening to her, although perhaps knowing the method to the madness may actually impede that goal. It is harder to be scared of the unknown if the unknown becomes known and difficult to remain in a state of confusion about the purpose if one can see that confusion IS the purpose.

But madness or schizophrenia isn’t quite the mystery it appears, in fact there is a clear bio-chemical origin behind the transformation from sanity to what is generally termed ‘insanity’. Barbara O’Brien reveals in her book that she:

“…became very curious about the psychiatrists who suspected a relationship between schizophrenia and a dysfunction of the adrenal gland.”

Under conditions of mental or physical stress the body produces adrenalin. There’s no mystery here and this process is well understood by most people. What is slightly more arcane and what has caused a stir in the truth community is adrenochrome. Unfortunately, a lot of what the truth movement is saying about adrenochrome is unfortunately wrong. The elite do not drink it as some kind of elixir of eternal youth, this is all disinformation and nonsense.

Adrenochrome is oxidised adrenalin, that is adrenalin which has gone bad. It is a neurotoxin and free-radical and is not something you want in the body. Adrenalin is produced in the body as a result of stress and anxiety, and it naturally degrades to adrenochrome, however in a healthy body and with a small release of adrenalin, it is safely scavenged by anti-oxidants in the body and excreted. However, if the period of stress, anxiety or prolonged uncertainty, can be sustained over a long time, then the release of adrenalin becomes continuous and the body can no longer safely scavenge the adrenochrome toxin and it starts to build up in the body. 

Adrenochrome is a psychoactive compound; its effects are somewhat like LSD but whereas a bad LSD trip will eventually wear off, adrenochrome build up, in a suitably stressed or terrorised individual, will not wear off: leading to a potentially permanent condition of what is effectively intoxication by a powerful psychoactive compound running perpetually through the bloodstream. This condition is known as schizophrenia. Dr Abraham Hoffer’s work in identifying adrenochrome as the ‘schizophrenia’ toxin as well as the possibility of treatment with high doses of niacin also known as vitamin B3, would clear up some of the great mysteries of our times as well as almost instantly solving the world-wide mental illness epidemic; but there are powerful vested interests who perhaps would lose countless millions of dollars in such an event.

Adrenochrome is not an elixir of life, it does not have any positive effects on the body. Hoffer conducted experiments with the ingestion of Adrenochrome and reported his findings in his research paper entitled The Effect of Adrenochrome and Adrenolutin on the Behavior of Animals and the Psychology of Man.

Previously Hoffer had apparently administered adrenochrome to various creatures including spiders, fish, and pigeons to the mammals including rats, cats, dogs, monkeys.  One wonders how the spiders felt about being given adrenochrome, one suspects none of the animals had a particularly good trip.

To quote from the paper:

“Some of the changes produced by adrenochrome may persist several days, and in some cases, the effects lead to nearly disastrous results.

The changes in thinking induced by adrenochrome are similar to those observed in schizophrenia. Adrenochrome causes an elective inhibition of the process, which determines the content of associative thinking.”

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0074774208600252

The mind under a burden of adrenochrome enters a different state of consciousness. Schizophrenia is basically a form of consciousness and it is precisely this state which the UFO cults, the secret societies and Sufi mentors are trying to induce.

The scientific explanation for how it works is complex but basically adrenochrome is antagonistic to GABA fluid. GABA fluid is an electrical brain insulator which keeps the brain synapsis and neurons under control by reducing electrical charge. With adrenochrome the electromagnetic structure of the mind is totally changed. The usual natural dampening mechanisms of the brain’s physiology which control the mind, and one might even say, protect the soul from too much awareness in the physical realm, are bypassed leading to a break-down in the mechanism of control over the mental processes of the mind and that sense of estrangement from reality which so familiar to the schizophrenic.

Where things get really strange is that some of the experiences which go along with this altered state of consciousness are not necessarily unreal because they are taking place in altered consciousness. For instance, if you are sleeping you are in a different level of consciousness. What is happening in your dream to your unconsciousness mind is real for that level of consciousness. When you are awake you are in a different level of consciousness, and in effect, a different level of reality.

The adrenochrome experience, actually puts you in a different level of reality and this level of reality is shared by high level Illuminati people and other types who have had specific experiences which have put them in this same level of reality. While in this level of reality they can hear each other's thoughts and are able to perceive demonic and spiritual energies. The Illuminati consider this the peak of human development and call it ‘Illumination’. They deliberately induce this state because they find it allows them to have psychic and clairvoyant faculties because the brain is operating beyond its normal limits. We find this curious attitude even within the scientific community as attested by Barbara O’Brien:

“Consider the most extreme of the theories. ‘I am almost convinced,’ said one biologist, ‘that the schizophrenic is an attempt on the part of nature at forming a mutation.’

Historically, the ancient cults believed that there were ways to access altered states of consciousness and in these states, they could communicate with the unseen spirits, or ‘Gods’. Every culture in the world has a mythology that the Gods taught them the various crafts, arts and skills which enabled the human race to create the first civilisations within a time frame reaching back to the last 10,000 years, a period which coincides with the end of the last ice-age.

The oracles of the ancient world were usually people who through various methods, existed in a semi-permanent state of altered consciousness which allowed them to see the future and contact the unseen spirit world. Such abilities have always been lauded by the occult and secret-world which has always existed since the very dawn of human civilisation, after all, it would seem that these people were instrumental in gaining such knowledge using occult methods, if the ancient records which come up time and time again are to be believed and since the records all seem to say the same thing regardless of the geographical location, then there must be some truth behind these myths.

“According to the psychoanalyst who treated me, spontaneous recoveries are rare and weird events in advanced schizophrenia and when they occur they present a mysterious spectacle – that of a mind walking out of a fourth dimension into which it has been propelled”

For a schizophrenic to describe their condition as being propelled into the fourth dimension is quite apt, though for some they consider the feeling like being in hell, or even like being in a state of living death. One can see how such an enigmatic and mysterious state of reality might have become the interest and domain of a particular group of people a very long-long time ago in human history. There is even the possibility that the ‘curse of Cain’ refers to this condition but this is superstition and theorising and nothing more.

Perhaps a brief psychotic episode was also a feature of many of the ancient mystery school initiations: a figurative period in the underworld mired in despair and the fear of death only to pass beyond and out of this realm, back to the realm of life, but this time transformed and with the sure knowledge that there is a whole mysterious hidden realm behind the scenes or normal consciousness; this state being induced either through various trials and tribulations, or through fasting and the ingestion of psycho-active compounds.

Barbara O’Brien seems to see her experience in these terms, almost like a kind of journey through madness and return to normalcy:

“The guidance was clearer than the planning. I had been maneuvered into a hospital when I unconsciously suspected pneumonia; maneuvered into visiting a doctor when I unconsciously suspected a mastoid; maneuvered to a mountain cabin when I was exhausted from bus traveling; provided with a flashlight so that I wouldn’t fall on a dark road; rescued from a mountain lion; maneuvered out of the mountain cabin the morning after the mountain lion incident; reminded punctually of meal times and the necessity for eating; reminded punctually (during the last month) of the need for brushing my teeth and other grooming. Whatever mental level the guidance had come from, it was clearly some level other than the this-is-I dry beach, and it had made certain that the organism was kept in good physical condition while the dry beach was incapable of providing the car

The planning was almost as obvious. Even on the first day, the voices had sketched in the picture of things to come. This was an experiment the Operators had told me. My mind was going to be controlled by Operators and I should have to be cooperative for my own sake as well as for theirs. And Nicky had added, as if the success of the experiment were being weighed, I would have one chance in three hundred of escaping the Operators and I would have to be lucky in the bargain. I had been manoeuvred away from home, where publicity of my insanity would have made life difficult after sanity had been regained, and where also there existed a company for which I persisted in working and toward which I had developed long established, difficult-to-change attitudes. I had been induced into riding Greyhound buses, where I could sit in schizophrenic apathy while I lived in my mental world, a state of being almost identical on the surface with the usual bus passenger who stares at the landscape, his mind on inner reflections. I had been coaxed into writing letters that would keep the home folk happy, manoeuvred to California by the Lumberjacks, figures apparently created for that very purpose, and had been induced to stay in California for the final act. And when the fall of the final curtain was sense

It had occurred in an article by a psychiatrist who had cautiously avoided jumping into the lake of guesswork and who, instead, had stood on the center of a seesaw and observed carefully both sides of all the mysteries of schizophrenia. One of these observations was, “Whether the schizophrenic really creates a dream world intentionally and purposefully, or whether he finds himself in one is debatable.”

It is possible that she has rationalised it thus since she has the luxury of having sanity to put the experience into some kind of rational framework. Most people having such an experience of schizoid-psychosis of this kind are not so lucky and have to remain permanently in the underworld.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday 27 November 2021

Latest Excerpt from Latest Book.

 


The ROAD TO ELEUSIS

                                                           The journey into mystery.


THE BEST PLACE TO HIDE

                                 

It’s quite possible and perhaps even likely that we are all at home to these spirits one way or another, but they are so well integrated into our consciousness that we think they are us. This reminds me of the powerful scene from the Guy Ritchie movie Revolver where Jake is seemingly enrolled on a path of self-discovery by two mysterious men who want him to break free from his greatest enemy and they do this by repeatedly robbing him and manipulating him to the extent that he is forced to abandon everything he holds dear including his ego, after which he discovers that this is not his authentic self but a parasite which only has its own protection and nourishment in mind, pun not intended. This is what is known throughout the story as Sam Gold: a mysterious enemy which is feared by everyone but has never been seen and in the words of one of the mysterious men from the film who seem able to read Jake’s mind:

“You’ve heard that voice for so long you believe it to be you; you believe it to be your best friend.”

He then asks:

“Where’s the best place an opponent should hide?”

“In the very last place you would ever look.”

“He’s all up here pretending to be you, you’re in a game Jake: you’re in THE game; everyone’s in his game and nobody knows it. And all of this, this is his world. He owns it. He controls it. He tells you what to and when to do it.”

“He’s behind all the pain there ever was, behind every crime ever committed. And right now, he’s telling you he doesn’t even exist.”

“We just put you to war with the only enemy that ever existed and you think he’s your best friend.”

More ominously, if we remember the fate of Joe Fisher “No one lives and displeases Gold.” Many have interpreted the character of Sam Gold to represent the ego, and within the context of the story this explanation fits, but could it not also be that Sam Gold represents one of the Operators, or one of the Tempters surreptitiously influencing us? The movie shows us that Sam Gold is not the authentic self so then what is the ego? Could it not be a convenient place for the discarnate entities to hide? As Avi, one of the two mysterious men from the film says:

“Where’s the best place an opponent should hide? In the very last place you’ve ever look, he’s hiding behind your pain Jake, you’re protecting him with your pain embrace your pain and you will win this game.”

“If you change the rules of what controls you, you will change the rules on what you can control.”

This is why the voices harassed Evelyn Waugh, playing on his insecurities: in his youth Waugh had homosexual experiences and much of his novel Brideshead Revisited seems based on the life he had at Oxford and frequenting a circle of members of the elite and aristocracy and this is one of the things the voices taunt him with. Once he seems to have ostensibly defeated the voices by failing to be cowed by them and not even being afraid of the bizarre prospect of being captured by the Spanish and drawing a virtue of noble self-sacrifice from the prospect and finally by abandoning the nonsense of Margaret’s phantasmagorical teasing and going to sleep, he emerges from his cabin to find that the voices have left the confines of his cabin and now appear to be amongst his fellow passengers:

“That’s Gilbert Pinfold, the writer.”

“That common little man? It can’t be.”

“Have you read his books? He has a very peculiar sense of humour, you know.”

“He is very peculiar altogether. His hair is very long.”

“He’s wearing lipstick.”

“He’s painted up to the eyes.”

“But he’s so shabby. I thought people like that were always smart.”

“There are different types of homosexual, you know. What are called “poufs” and “nancies”—that is the dressy kind. Then there are the others they call “butch”. I read a book about it. Pinfold is a “butch”.”

“Oh, Pinfold lives in great style I can tell you. Footmen in livery.”

“I can guess what he does with the footmen.”

“Not any more. He’s been impotent for years, you know. That’s why he’s always thinking of death.”

“Is he always thinking of death?”

“Yes. He’ll commit suicide one of these days, you’ll see.”

“I thought he was a Catholic. They aren’t allowed to commit suicide, are they?”

“That wouldn’t stop Pinfold. He doesn’t really believe in his religion, you know. He just pretends

to because he thinks it aristocratic. It goes with being Lord of the Manor.”

“…There he is, drunk again.”

“He looks ghastly.”

“A dying man, if ever I saw one.”

“Why doesn’t he kill himself?”

“Give him time. He’s doing his best. Drink and drugs. He daren’t go to a doctor, of course, for fear he’d be put in a home.”

“Best place for him, I should have thought.”

Once the experience is over and he is safely returned to England he consults with Dr. Drake who tells him:

“Lots of people hear voices from time to time—nearly always offensive.”

If such a thing were the construction of one’s own consciousness, why would they generally be offensive? From a psychological perspective such a thing would make no sense. It would seem much more logical that these voices are NOT part of the psyche and are inimical to it and somehow, they benefit from attacking the person in question.

People as diverse as Philip K Dick, Mahatma Ghandi, Winston Churchill, Anthony Hopkins and Brian Wilson had all reportedly heard voices. Some relentlessly critical and offensive and some, ostensibly seeming to be helpful, but in the case of Ghandi before the end of his life a voice apparently told him:

“You are on the right track, move neither to your left, nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow.”

It might have been more useful if the voice had told him some crackpot was going to assassinate him. Ghandi also said, of the voice which he attributed to God itself:

“Charitable critics impute no fraud to me, but suggest that I am highly likely to be acting under some hallucination. The result for me, even then, will not be far different from what it would be if I was laying a false claim. A humble seeker that I claim to be has need to be most cautious and, to preserve the balance of mind, he has to reduce himself to zero before God will guide him. Let me not labour this point.”

“The hearing of the Voice was preceded by a terrific struggle within me. Suddenly the Voice came upon me. I listened, made certain it was the Voice, and the struggle ceased. I was calm. The determination was made accordingly, the date and the hour of the fast were fixed…”

There are two things which ought to stand out in Ghandi’s account, the fact that the hearing of the voice was ‘preceded by a terrific struggle within’ which we can perhaps assume was a kind of hormonal crisis, the kind we have seen with the story of Barbara O’Brien, we can therefore assume that Ghandi may have experienced a similar condition to Barbara O’Brien, namely Adrenochrome toxicity but also this seems to be a factor not only of secret occult groups but also UFO groups as is referenced in Jacques Vallee’s book Messengers of Deception:

“For every individual who is openly identified as a contactee, how many more have received what they regard as a ‘secret illumination’? It is apparent that the transformation they undergo can strike at any place and at any age. Is it purely random, then, or do the UFOs select their ‘victims’? Does it spread like an epidemic, or does it develop like a psychosis?”

Anthony Hopkins went on record in a 1993 News of the World interview:

“I’ve always had a little voice in my head, particularly when I was younger and less assured…While onstage, during classical theatre the voice would suddenly say, ‘Oh, you think you can do Shakespeare, do you?’ Recently, I was being interviewed on television and the voice inside my head said to me, ‘Who the hell do you think you are. You’re just an actor, what the hell do you know about anything’”.

Brian Wilson is one of the most high-profile people to go on record about hearing voices, his voice was typically threatening:

“Well, a voice is saying: ‘I’m going to hurt you, I’m going to kill you.’ And I’d say: ‘Please don’t kill me.’”

Like the Evelyn Waugh voices but seemingly more menacing, I wonder if the tenor of the voice changes depending on how you react to them; as we saw with Evelyn Waugh, he refused to be intimidated by the voices, even though he was under the delusion they were actual physical agents, it was only when he thought he was going mad that his defences seemed to crumble, but Waugh despite his somewhat dissolute student life and obese drugged form in later life, served in the Royal Marines and was given a position of command; he was prepared to fight or even if all odds were against him surrender, but on his own, noble terms. I suspect the voices see what they can get away with and if their victim proves to be made of stronger stuff then they adapt their tactics, though it would still appear that their final goal is either the destruction or complete possession of their victim. Furthermore, in his conversation with the doctor who has told him that they were part of his own subconscious Pinfold/Waugh is puzzled:

“What I can’t understand is this…if I wanted to draw up an indictment of myself, I could make a far blacker and more plausible case than they did. I can’t understand.”

Mr. Pinfold/Evelyn Waugh never understood this; nor has anyone been able to suggest a satisfactory explanation. I have an explanation. What Pinfold means is that although the voices were insulting to him, if the attacks were from his own mind, then he would have been able to draw up a far stronger line of personal attack on himself. The attacks were very general: attacking his excessive use of drugs and alcohol and his previous homosexuality, but nothing very specific or damning about him as a person and his decisions, just somewhat general comments about his lifestyle choices. The reason might be that possibly the ‘voices’ can only hear your thoughts in the present moment but do not have a deeper access to your memories and your past deeds. Since they do not have that level of access to information one might assume that they do not come from the self but are interlopers and opportunists which exist in a kind of mental astral realm and can pick up on people’s thoughts and in exceptional circumstances such as Waugh’s experiences with his unique combination of drugs and personal stress, can in turn be heard themselves, at which point presumably, knowing that they can be heard, they start to mentally abuse and torture that person for their own demonic pleasure.

While shaving he hears the family of voices conversing about him which develops from the lines that he drinks too much and to his own suicide. The voices make no pretence at this stage that he is not a party to their dialogue and they directly address him

“‘I know you can hear me Gilbert, why don’t you kill yourself’ Then Goneril’s steely voice cut in: ‘I can tell you what he was doing on deck. He was screwing up his courage to jump overboard. He longs to kill himself, don’t you, Gilbert. All right, I know you’re listening down there. You can hear me, can’t you, Gilbert? You wish you were dead, don’t you, Gilbert? And a very good idea, too. Why don’t you do it, Gilbert? Why not? Perfectly easy. It would save us all—you too, Gilbert—a great deal of trouble.’”

He emerges from his cabin, believing the voices are a product of some old war-time inter-ship communication system which hasn’t been decommissioned properly, and emerges onto the boat deck to find everyone talking about him in an incessant dialogue.

They encouraged him to commit suicide but Waugh being a Catholic and a fairly successful man, wealthy and probably in his own way, quite pleased with himself, such an effort wouldn’t lead to their desired results so instead they settle for continual abuse, except one of them, a character called Margaret.

It seems that what the voices want from Gilbert is his attention and when the threat of violence fails to cow him and he reveals that he is prepared to physically fight, even in his infirm and bloated condition, then the voices try a different approach.

This leads to the development of the character: Margaret who reveals that she is impressed by how Gilbert bravely confronted the prospect of hooligans which he faced down outside his door and how he nobly chooses to offer himself as a sacrifice to preserve the security and safety of the secret agent which the Spanish authorities were trying to capture. She declares herself in love with him and ready to yield herself to him. This story becomes increasingly bizarre until at one point Margaret is all ready to enter Pinfold’s nocturnal bed chamber and yield herself to him utterly. Naturally she never materialises.

The voices of Margaret’s family are overheard coaching her and preparing her for her nuptials and things take a grossly comic turn:

 “That’s my beauty. Go and take what’s coming to you. Listen, my Peg, you know what you’re in for, don’t you?”

“Yes, Father, I think so.”

“It’s always a surprise. You may think you know it all on paper, but like everything else in life it’s never quite what you expect when it comes to action. There’s no going back now. Come and see me when it’s all over. I’ll be waiting up to hear the report. In you go, bless you.”

Pinfold then awaits her in the darkness, in his delirium, expecting a girl he’d never met before whom he can hear speaking with her family in her cabin and who can read his mind which is all somehow connected to some kind of radio technology left over from the war, to come into his cabin and have sex with him. There is some hesitancy however on her part in showing herself and her father the General is surprised that things have not developed to their natural conclusion.

“What the hell’s going on? You ought to be in position by now. Haven’t had a Sitrep. Isn’t the girl over the Start Line?”

It would seem that although Margaret and the hooligans’ approach is radically different, the hooligans attempt to instil fear in Pinfold while Margaret tries to instil love, in a manner of speaking they are both doing the same thing, that is getting ‘attention’ and in that way drawing a kind of energy from Pinfold.

Although Pinfold is unwell and heavily drugged it seems something in his mind is able to perfectly well articulate a highly complicated and serpentine plot, almost Dickensian in its colourful cast of characters and their high levels of melodrama, but the one common thread which runs through the whole experience is that of abuse, abuse and denigration of himself. Since the experience and the organisation and colourful characterisation of the voices are so similar to the voices which haunted Barbara O’Brien then we can collate these experiences within the same category.

So, we might therefore draw the conclusion that Barbara O’Brien’s analysis that the voices were from her own consciousness and were there to help her become sane again, was incorrect since nothing of this nature can be drawn from Evelyn Waugh’s similar experience.

So, if we can allow ourselves the belief that such a thing as God exists, then logically there must be an invisible world of the spirit which accommodates a varied flora and fauna of disembodied entities. Not all of these entities have our best interests at heart and perhaps for some unknown reason, they are directly opposed to us.

I'm on FIRE with dat TROOF.

I'm on FIRE with dat TROOF.
Kundalini refugee doing a bit of landscaping.

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For a Few Dollops More....of cat food.

Get back she's gonna blow.

Get back she's gonna blow.

Madonna rolling down the stairs forever....lulz

Madonna rolling down the stairs forever....lulz
Thanks to Long lost soul, wherever you are.

Poptard of the Apocalypse meets Leo.

Poptard of the Apocalypse meets Leo.
Ewwww..... it touched me.